One of my all time favourite educators and authors is Leo F Buscaglia. I started Hug Days in my school district because of Leo in the days when it was ok to hug students. I still believe it is ok to hug students , recognizing boundaries and always being respectful of students and their boundaries.
What did I learn from Leo that I still think applies to students and myself today? Here are some of the lessons i learned from the amazing Leo Buscaglia:
Be passionate
Love learning , love life, love yourself, love …
“Perhaps love is the process of leading you gently back to yourself” Saint -Exupery
Make yourself into the best person you can be, because you are all you have
Schools should be the most joyful places in the world
Be spontaneous
Live fully alive
“Oh God , to have reached the point of death,only to have found that you have never lived at all ” Don Quixote
Leo wanted us to live fully to enjoy every single moment of life
“I think the purpose of life is to be useful,
to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate.
It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something,
to have made some difference that you lived at all.”
Leo Rosten
Accentuate what is right instead of focusing on what is wrong
Feel free to make mistakes and learn from them
Believe in change
Every time we learn something new we become something new
You control your destiny
Stop looking for or striving for perfection
Life isn’t always easy, but rise to the challenge to face life head on
“Everyone needs at least one person to love them no matter what ” Leo Buscgalia
Be that someone for someone
You need a path with a heart
Be real , be you
There is so much more to know, to be, to do
A favorite question Leo liked to ask was … If you only had five days to live, how would you spend them? With whom?
We need to always reflect on this and live … fully live.
Death teaches us what love is
Ask yourself “What are YOU giving to life?’
If you have never read Leo Buscaglia’s books do it now.The lessons are timeless. These lessons are from Living, Loving and Learning by Leo Buscaglia. Stay tuned for more lessons from Leo.
It’s better to fail at what you love than to fail at what you don’t . Jim Carrey
This is an email I recieved this week from a student who wishes to remain anonymous. The message is great so I share it with you. I am grateful that BCHS is such a great place to work. Graduates … you amaze me! I am in awe of you.
Hello graduate:
This is a message from a former Bishop Carroll High School student and it is addressed to each graduate in the class of 2015. Before anything else, congratulations! You have endured, grown, been challenged by, and are forever changed by your BCHS journey. You have earned the green slips, made the cutoffs, and can now call yourself a graduate of Bishop Carroll High School; a great Calgary institution that has developed a legacy for turning out exceptional people – people who forge incredible impacts in the world and help make it a better place.
My purpose for writing this is to imbue you with a few friendly words of wisdom, some advice, and to call you to service in your community. What is said in this message is opinion not doctrine and it is meant simply to convey some words of encouragement as you close a proverbial chapter in your life and turn to the next.
Bishop Carroll High School is not a school for a neighborhood or a quadrant – it is a school for the community of Calgary. As a result, it is a place of great diversity and great opportunity. The experiences you have had and the environment you have been in is something that is unique and one that has set you up differently than other people your age. You have been given the Carroll Advantage – the opportunity to learn in a system that hones your strengths, remedies weaknesses, and lets you discover who you are. The result: an ability to think critically, to manage yourself, to take ownership of your destiny, and the ability to make a profound impact on those around you. Self directed learning is a fantastic way to learn and appreciate personal responsibility, develop self management skills, and ultimately learn who you are and grow as a human being. The opportunities, skills, and experiences found in and taken from Bishop Carroll High School create potential for great things in every graduate. All of you have potential that knows only the boundaries you set for yourselves. There is no limit to what you can do; so believe in yourself, set your standards high, dream as big as you can, and never ever quit on something worthwhile.
My time since graduating has afforded me the ability to experience many great things and meet many great people, but every time I encounter something new – a challenge or an opportunity, I often find myself reflecting back on the experiences I had as a student at Carroll. Truthfully, everything I do now is somehow connected back to my time at Carroll. No matter what I face I always tell myself I am a Carroll grad and that gives me the confidence to do just about anything because who I have become was largely started in my three years at Carroll. If nothing else, please take some time to reflect on your BCHS journey: the highs the lows and understand how those experiences will always stick with you. In the bright times use those memories to reflect fondly and appreciate yourself, who you have become, and who you will grow into.In the challenging times use those memories to remind yourself of all you have accomplished and tell yourself you can do anything you set my mind to – you will be better for it. No matter what you face, who you face it with, or what you end up doing know this – if you understand and appreciate what your time at Carroll did for you and that it has helped make you then you really will be able to do anything. There is nothing quite like the confidence or the last minute quick thinking of a BCHS graduate.
Bishop Carroll High School is different than anywhere else, from what I have seen and experienced since graduation it truly does prepare you better and make you more ready for the world. The world you graduate into is one that seems to change exponentially each year. New challenges and new opportunities will demand more of everyone and will likely challenge us as a global community in a way we have not been challenged before. It will take people from diverse backgrounds and skill sets to confront them. Regardless of your path after high school YOU have the power to help change the world. Change does not have to come from grand actions or mega projects – the world can be changed at the grassroots level by the sum of individual actions. So find something you are passionate about – something you love, do it, do it well, and use it to help make the world around you better. Although not everything will be recognized no good action is too small. The opportunities and skills you have now give you the BCHS grad a responsibility to help make a positive impact on the world around you and doing what you love is a great way to make the world better. .
Enjoy each moment, learn from your successes and your failures, never ever give up, appreciate those around you, and live your life to the fullest. Congratulations on your achievement and welcome to the BCHS alumni community. Mane Nobisum Domaine
I don’t think I could say it any better Paul and Alan. Etmooc is definitely alive and well. The connections we have made will last a lifetime and for that I am truly grateful! I get to keep learning with all of you fabulous people that I consider a part of my extended family.
Inspired by the #etmooc community’s latest learning endeavor—a tweet chat that drew community members together for a lively hour-long discussion about integrating Twitter into learning earlier this week—Levine combines his usual wicked sense of humor and insightful perspective into a set of reflections that…
As school counsellors, there are some very important things we wish to share with you.
You are the reason we do what we do
We care; we mean really care about teenagers. We do our best to touch as many students as we can, being advocates for you in school. We feel you have a right to know why we do what we do. We are counsellors by choice. Some of the things we have to do are difficult, but we choose to be here.
We are here because we believe we can help
As your School Counsellors, we have several roles. Even if we get caught up doing several things at once, our hearts are always with you, the student.
What you do with your life is up to you
You are in charge of you. We are here to help you reach your full potential. We will insist that you learn. It is your ticket to absolute freedom.
Be all that you can be
It isn’t easy being a teenager; even we can get frustrated with your raging hormones. You are growing and changing. We understand that. Take responsibility for your life and your actions and your teachers and others will respect you.
We do care, don’t ever forget it
That’s why we are here
That’s why we choose to do what we do
We will help in any way we can. We may get you support with a mentor, another counsellor or whomever can help us help you.
Stop … Think … Speak
Remember, your thoughts lead to feelings lead to your actions. Change your thinking and you will have control of your life.
No matter what anyone else says or does to you, you are a worthwhile person
Truly you are a gift
You are somebody
You deserve dignity and respect
There will be times during your school experience where negative things are said or done to you. You may experience painful times. Life can be difficult. It’s not what happens in your life that matters, but how you choose to respond to it and we are here to help.
What you put into school is what you will get out of it
With your help, we can make a difference. If you choose to share a part of yourself with us, we can work together to make changes in your life. Your school experience will become everything you hoped it could be. Get involved and you will feel better about yourself.
Give life a chance
One of the easiest things to say and one of the most difficult things to do are to live one day at a time. If you can master letting go of the past, not worrying about the future, but living each day to the fullest, then you will have lived a great life full of few regrets.
Be patient
Change takes time. Let yourself grow. We all can change if we have the courage and the wisdom.
We have faith in you
Never give up! Have Hope! Live every moment to the fullest! Become all that you are meant to be and you pay it forward to others.
The first week of School Counsellor in 30 #SCin30 is almost over , but School Counsellors feel free to post anytime. I loved being able to see you in the videos and so look forward to hearing more from you in the weeks and months to come. If you haven’t added a question or a video please do so and I will add here at a later date.
Thanks George Couros for your support and kickstarting the idea!
— Susan Spellman Cann (@SSpellmanCann) May 3, 2015
I sure hope School Counsellors from across the world will be inspired to join us on this journey. We look forward to keeping this going for a long time so that we can truly connect and learn from and with each other. Thanks so much for joining in to this vlogging experience. I know you are all so busy, but appreciate all your efforts to share your voice in #SCin30 #SCin30 Q1
Q2: Submitted by George Couros is How do you see the role of School Counsellor changing?
Add your questions to our google doc here. Thanks so much for collaborating! See you in #SCin30.
REACH OUT it is important to reach out to friends , family, and people you trust.
REALIZE SMALL STEPS MATTER when you are trying to cope it all depends on what you have to cope with every small step you make towards being able to cope matters.
REALISTIC EXPECTATIONSif you are trying to cope with something serious the process to feel better could take a long time and you may require supports. Set realistic expectations of yourself.
REMEMBER TO BREATHEbreathing helps. You can learn breathing techniques that can assist you in life. Ask your School Counsellor to help you.
REMEMBER TO NOURISH YOURSELFdrink your water and eat things that make your brain work better.
REVIEW YOUR SELF TALKwhat you say to yourself matters. Learn new ways of talking to yourself that are helpful and positive.
RECREATION CAN HELP you may like to do Art , exercise or any other recreational activity like music that can heal and help you.
REMINDyourself that there is hope and help. You can …
REFLECTon what has worked in the past and what could work in the present and future.
REACH OUT FURTHER you may need to see a School Counsellor or therapist. It is OK to seek help. For more serious concerns you may need a Psychiatrist or other helping professionals to work with you on a team. YOU MATTER, so you need to know reaching out for as many supports as you need is a sign of strength.
B: Books : Read a book on the topic you are trying to cope with can help.
Beliefs Challenge your thoughts about the topic: Be positive! Books can be healing!
C: Caring and compassion make a difference: Helping others helps you to focus on others not on your problems. Random Acts of Kindness lead to greater happiness for you and others.
D: Decide that you need to take care of yourself.
E: Exercise is always helpful. You are able exercise 10-15 mins. each day. You can do it!
F: Find great strategies that work for you. Ask your friends what works for them.
G: Give yourself a break. Say to yourself I am more than … my grades, my size, etc.
H: Hope . It is so important to maintain a hopeful perspective . Help others ! When you help others less fortunate you help yourself.
O: Open your mind to new strategies. Try a positive method of coping that you haven’t tried before. maybe try painting and get in the flow. It can make a difference.
S: Strategies: the more you have the better. Here are 99.
T: Trust: that your feelings will not last forever. Feelings are neither right nor wrong they are just feelings. It is what you do with them that matters.
U: Understanding your coping skills matters.
V: Visualize what you want.
W: Watch a funny show to get your mind off all the serious stuff.
You can learn to cope. Connecting with the right people can help you cope in an effective manner. Hopefully the above list will give you new ways of coping and if you have a great way of coping please share your ideas!
Twitter and great educators often inspire new ideas and this time it was no exception. I came upon a tweet by George Couros a while back, and for those School Counsellors who don’t know @gcouros , he is a Principal , Educator , leader , inspiration and thought provoker. Really , he is a Canadian educator, an everyday person who cares.
I loved reading his blog post on his new project #EDUin30 it is such a fabulous idea. You and I can now share 30 second videos on twitter by simply taking our phone, videoing our thoughts and sharing them on twitter in a tweet.
I know videoing yourself is not an easy thing to do as I did this in a vlogging project called #openspokes for a couple of years . Believe me putting myself out there wasn’t easy at first. It definitely made me reach outside my comfort zone. Making a video for longer that 30 seconds is a big commitment, but sharing our thoughts in 30 seconds is something we could all most likely sustain. So I invite all School Counsellors from around the world to share , to learn, to grow and to collaborate with me in this project . I am excited to get started and would be so honoured if you would join me on this journey.
For those of you with an iPhone here is the step by step guide
1) Go to your camera – move your cursor over to video .
2) Press the big red dot and Press play answering your question. You can see my sample below only I uploaded to youtube this time.
3) Go to twitter. Press the feather at the top as if you were writing a post.
4) Then below go to your camera and post your video. As long as it is less than 30 seconds it will post directly to twitter.
5) Voila YOU DID IT! Don’t forget to add the two hash tags #SCin30 and #SCin30 Q1 etc. . It’s really that easy.
6) Thanks for sharing and I look forward to posting and learning with you.
School Counsellor in 30. #SCin30.
Instead of breaking the hashtag as #EDUin 30 does I prefer to use weeks. I thought it would work if we do it in questions. Question 1 : #SCin30Q1
Why did you become a School Counsellor? #SCin30Q1, so when you post your first video and I so look forward to it please post to two hastags #SCin30 and #SCin30Q1 or on whatever question we are on at the time of posting.
I would also love if you would add some questions you would like to see in this collaborative google doc.
My goal is to get at least 100 questions that we all collaborate on and answer related to School Counselling and a School Counsellors unique perspective . I would also encourage School Counsellor educators and School Counselling students to join in.
WHY DO THIS?
As George said to make reflection a part of our work. I hope this will also help us to inspire each other and create new ideas. As School Counsellors many of you feel isolated as you often work alone in your schools without other School Counsellors to bounce ideas off of. This is another way to share that can help us to feel connected, be better , do better and most importantly find ways to help our students. I think there are many great things that can happen as a result of sharing this way. Let’s see what happens? Won’t YOUjoin me?.
Thank you George for doing what you do and inspiring educators to make a difference. Grateful that you do!
Words really do matter. I had originally wrote this post because I was developing an online presentation for adults on mental health and wellness so that they may assist students in their Post – Secondary programs. As I thought about what I would say I recognized that my words matter. What I say could potentially influence educators. What they say to their students could potentially transform what happens for the students and their families. Mental health literacy matters, stigma matters , words matter.
This week our students at BCHS released their anti-slur campaign . Real evidence that words do matter . Click here for all of their words.
Sometimes I hear people use words way too loosely when describing someone with a mental illness or someone who has special needs or challenges. They may say so and so is an ADHD kid or so and so is bipolar, an alcoholic etc. It matters to me when I hear words used inappropriately as I believe strongly that we are people first ( the labels used like ADHD are only a very small way of telling us something about someone). We are so much more.
Who we truly are cannot or should not be described in a few words. So the next time you find yourself using the label first STOP and THINK about the power of your words. Jim or Joan may have a million attributes that are positive and when you use one word to define them you are missing out on such huge pieces of who they truly are. Eliminate so and so is a developmentally delayed child etc. and say their name and the many wonderful things about them. When you do this you start to perceive them differently. You also begin to treat each human being , each child in your care with so much more dignity and respect. Words really do matter. Words can bring about acceptance.Words can change our brains. Words can hurt or heal. Words can hold back or help. Words can break hearts or touch hearts.Words can build others up or tear them down.Words allow people to tell their stories . Words give people their voices . Words can challenge us to be resilient. Words can give us the strength to carry on … to give us HOPE.Words can ruin someone’s day or make someone’s day .Words have the power to change others and change ourselves. What words will you use when speaking about and to your students today?
Nothing matters more to me than my family. I am at a point in life where our children are grown up and don’t need me as much, but I continue to love every moment I spend with them. They bring a smile to my face and joy in my heart every time I sit down to a meal with them or get to be around them. I am grateful … oh so grateful. I hope my children and husband realize just how much they mean to me not only by my actions, but also through my words. Part of the reason I blog is for my children so that they can see another piece of who their mother is. My heart is so full of love for them.
“One Hundred Years From Now”
One hundred years from now
It won’t matter
What kind of car I drove
What kind of house I lived in
How much money I had in the bank
Nor what my clothes looked like
BUT
The world may be a little better
Because, I was important
In the life of a child.
Author: (excerpt from “Within My Power” by Forest Witcraft)
“What A Difference You’ve Made In My Life”. This is the song that played at our wedding and it holds true for my children as well as my husband. Seeing this you tube video was a trip down memory lane for me because as a teenager I loved Donny Osmond. We’ll let’s say i liked him,my friend was obsessed with him .I flew to Toronto to see him with my friend Evelyn when I was fifteen years old. (LOL) . I digress. The point I really want to make is my children and my husband have made a profound positive difference in my life.
2. Friends
I am so fortunate to have amazing friendships that lift me up, bring me great joy and fill my heart with love. We have bonds that cannot be broken. We share so many special moments in life. Each friendship I have I absolutely treasure. I value the precious moments I have with them and don’t ever take them for granted.
I moved to Calgary via Nova Scotia and Atikameg in 1981. It was a move that would change the course of my life and so began my story of lifelong adult relationships.
Fortunately for me I have enjoyed wonderful friendships in my life, so I knew how they could make a difference and sustain me. I have lifelong childhood friends from Nova Scotia who remain my dear friends today. Even though I have been away for thirty-five years, we still make a point of seeing each other and celebrating our friendships every summer.
Little did I know when I moved to Calgary, it would become my home or that I would discover extraordinary life giving friendships that would sustain me for life. “The gang” as we would so affectionately call ourselves are wonderful, kind, intelligent, considerate, amazing, loving and caring people. Our connections remain unbreakable.
The thing that I think is so amazing about these people is that we have been friends for over twenty-five years and never ever had a fight or major disagreement with one another.
In over twenty-five years we have missed very little time where we go not seeing each other. We have celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, New Years, birthdays, births, deaths, and we often get together for absolutely no reason at all. There rarely goes by a month where we don’t sit down once , twice or even more times together to enjoy a feast.
Every celebration creates fabulous memories. We laugh, sing, play games, tell stories and just plain enjoy each other’s company. Our children have been blessed with such great role models of positive, lasting friendships.
We are there for each other whenever anyone needs something no matter what. I can count on these people for whatever I need. They are my family. No, we are not related, but we are closer than some families. We have made a connection that will last a lifetime.
What do we all have in common? We moved to Calgary to work. We needed to be able to use the skills from our education. It was a place to create a life for ourselves. None of us knew we would remain in Calgary after all these years. There are other commonalities, but this and the fact that we all had no family in Calgary brought us together.
We all happen to be from a place near the water. Prince Edward Island, Vancouver and Nova Scotia. Other friends come to some of our celebrations, but they don’t get to celebrate all of them because they have family here in Calgary. The rest of us don’t ( except for a few cousins who we adore).
I absolutely love these people, and so do our children. We have been blessed with laughter in abundance over the years. I have positive memories that are etched vividly in my mind and will be passed on down to our children and hopefully our future grandchildren. There are stories upon stories that have been shared over the years. We never get tired of telling each other stories.
When I tell people about how much we really care about each other after all these years, they are often amazed. Really, we have never fought with each other about anything throughout the years.
What a gift I have been given. If I could I’d jump over mountains for these people I most definately would. They make such a difference in my life. I have work friends, neighbourhood friends, long distance friends , on line friends ( yes, you can create amazing on line friendships) and lifetime friends. Each holds a special place in my heart. each is a true gift.
I have been so blessed with all the friends that surround me. I can’t even put into words what they have meant to me.
If I pass anything onto my children it will be this.
Find great friends, not friends you necessarily always agree with all the time, but friends who you love being around and they love being around you.
Friends who :
accept you just the way you are
you can laugh and cry with
would be there in a minute no matter what you needed
the spouses / partners like and respect each other
don’t mind being silly with you no matter how old you are
share the good times and the bad with you
you always know will be there no matter what the circumstances
share your hopes, dreams, successes and losses
find friends who always seem to know the right thing to say or do
I am so happy to celebrate my friends. I want to shout from the mountaintops that YOU have provided me with some of the happiest memories of my life. I LOVE YOU so so much!
3. Life is To Be Lived
I have believed for many many years that we need to live life to the fullest, maybe because of all the early deaths that have happened to people I have loved or people I have cared for. Zach is an amazing example for all of us. He is a teacher with many wonderful lessons and ones that are definitely worth sharing.
You don’t have to find out you are dying to start living
most people live in the middle, but you don’t have to
be empathetic and compassionate
always look for the good in people
things are OK when you believe in something greater
what makes you happy is seeing someone else smile because you put it there
what’s awesome about living in this world is that you can help people
the structure of a family is great
to be in the same room with your siblings is enough
it is not the life in your years , but the years and passion you put into your life
spend time with the people you love
it’s ok to dream big
celebrate the life you have
you can communicate love through music
music can heal
releasing feelings through music is helpful
letting people know you love them is important
sticking together as a family is extremely important
be happy no matter what
treat people the same and everything will be fine
smile despite what is happening in your life
memories are essential…create positive ones
friendships help
fill your heart up with joy
it’s ok to have ultimate dreams
people we don’t really know can change our lives
the way you live matters
surround yourself with those people that lift you up
LOVE makes life BETTER
Zach says it alll better than I could ever do, his message is one that I will share again and again. Thanks Zach for giving us your gift of life. I know I treasure each day I have been given.
4. Find a Career You Love
I have been blessed with work I love to do. I have felt honoured to be able to be in the presence of so many students who have helped to teach me so much in life. I feel honoured that they allow me to enter into their world. Each day I go to work I am grateful. It doesn’t mean that every moment of every day I am happy, but most moments of most days I really am very happy. My work brings me great joy and fulfillment. I really try to put passion into practice .
5. Have Hope
Life is not always easy and sometimes just downright hard, but having hope has gotten me through all the rough times. Even when I might have felt like giving up I haven’t because I could see a spark of hope. May you find HOPE in your life.
Music can heal the soul and inspire hope. I love music , well who doesn’t. This last song is one when I hear it , I think of my husband who I am forever grateful for. Finding him is a gift that has made my life better. The words speak what I have in my heart.
This reflective post has been worth sharing for me. Thanks to Maureen Crawford for inspiring this post.
Now I challenge you . What are your 5 things worth sharing?
Words give people their voices .
Counsellor Talk : Connecting with those who want to make a difference. 
