Tag: anxiety

I AM A SCHOOL COUNSELLOR

Published on by Counsellor Talk2 Comments

It is National School Counselling week.

In honour I have created posters that you can feel free to download and use.

The students are why school counsellors do what they do. It has been my privilege over the years to do what I do. So if any of the below resonates with you, please feel free to use it.

I AM A SCHOOL COUNSELLOR

You Are the Reason I Do What I Do.

I am here not just for the tough days, the overwhelming moments or the times when life feels like too much – but for all of it. The dreams you are chasing, the friendships you are figuring out, the questions you are afraid to ask, and the moments you wish someone truly understood.

This time in your life can be a wild ride- exciting, confusing, sometimes frustrating. YOU don’t have to do it alone. You are not meant to.

You are seen. Even when you feel invisible.

You are heard. Even when you feel like you have no voice.

You are enough. Just as you are.

If you ever need a place to untangle your thoughts, or just breathe — I am here. No judgement. No pressure. Just support, honesty and a space where you matter.

I feel you have a right to know why I do what I do.

I am a school counsellor by choice.

Some of the things I have to do are difficult, but I choose to be here.

I am here because I believe I can help.

I care; I mean I really care about young people. I do my best to help as many students as I can, being advocates for you in school.

I want you to know

What you do with your life is up to you.

You are in charge of you. I am here to help you reach your full potential. I will insist that you learn. It is your ticket to absolute freedom.

Be all that you can be!

It isn’t easy being a teenager; even I can get frustrated with your raging hormones. You are growing and changing. I understand that. Take responsibility for your life and your actions and your teachers and others will respect you.

I do care, don’t ever forget it.

That’s why I am here.

That’s why I choose to do what I do.

I want you to know YOU can

Stop…Think…Speak

Remember, your thoughts lead to feelings lead to your actions. Change your thinking and you will have control of your life.

No matter what anyone else says or does to you, you are a worthwhile person. A gift from God. You are somebody.

There will be times during your school experience where negative things are said or done to you. You may experience painful times. Life can be difficult. It’s not what happens in your life that matters, but how you choose to respond to it.

What you put into school is what you will get out of it.

You can make a difference. If you choose to share a part of yourself with me, we can work together to make changes in your life. Your school experience will become everything you hoped it could be. Get involved and you will feel better about yourself.

Give life a chance.

One of the easiest things to say and one of the most difficult things to do are to live one day at a time. If you can master letting go of the past, not worrying about the future, but living each day to the fullest, then you will have lived a great life full of few regrets.

Be patient.

Change takes time. Let yourself grow. We all can change if we have the courage and the wisdom.

I have faith in you.

NEVER GIVE UP! Have Hope! Become the gift from God you were meant to be and you pass it on to others.

I hope your life is everything you ever dreamed it to be.

I am grateful if I am a small part of your journey.

REMEMBER

You are STRONGER than you think. BRAVER than you feel. You are more CAPABLE than you think. You are NEVER ever ALONE.

Come as you are.  I’ll be here for you.

Copious Ways of Coping

Published on by Counsellor Talk2 Comments

Dealing with our distress is important to maintaining mental well-being and can be challenging. However, having a set of effective coping strategies can make a significant difference. We all need them young and old. You can build and use your own Coping Toolkit to navigate daily stressors and improve your overall mental health and wellbeing. Here are a few that I put together from A- Z to get you started. What works for you may not work for someone else.

The Feelings Thermometer

A feelings thermometer can help young people identify how they are feeling and will assist others in helping youth manage their emotions effectively. The thermometer is a simple tool that helps you gauge your current emotional state. Are you feeling calm and collected, or are you on the verge of a meltdown? Identifying this can help you choose the right coping strategies. If a young person is on the verge of a meltdown the way you help them will be much different than if they are at a 4-5 on a scale of 10.

Building Your Coping Toolkit

Your Coping Toolkit should include personalized strategies that work best for you. Here is an online Coping Toolkit that I created in Google Slides that you can use with youth.

Daily Reminders

Consistency is key when it comes to coping strategies. Here are some daily reminders to keep you on track:

  • Reframe Your Thoughts: Practice turning negative thoughts into positive ones. This can help shift your perspective and reduce feelings of distress.
  • Practice Gratitude: Take a moment each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for. This simple habit can improve your mood and outlook on life.

Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Identifying healthy ways to cope with distress is crucial for long-term well-being. Here are some methods to consider:

  • Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process emotions.
  • Healthy Distractions: Engage in activities you enjoy, such as reading a book , playing sports , creating art or watching a favorite show, to take your mind off stressors.
  • Relaxation Techniques: Techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation and guided imagery can help lower stress levels.

Reducing Carried Distress

Carrying around unresolved distress can be burdensome. Here are a few strategies that may lighten your emotional load:

  • Set Realistic Goals: Break down tasks into smaller, manageable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
  • Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it’s okay to have off days.
  • Seek Professional Help: Talking to a therapist or school counsellor can provide you with the help you may need. It’s a strength to reach out.

I love this podcast by Andrew Huberman as he interviews Dr. Victor Carrion on PTSD in youth. They are strategies we can all use with youth.

If you aren’t listening or paying attention to all the amazing interviews by @hubermanlab you may want to start today. Below are some of my adaptations of what Dr.Carrion had to say in his interview with Andrew Huberman. I love how Huberman shares all the fabulous resources on his web page. It’s a must go to space for all counsellors.

By incorporating coping strategies into your daily life, you can create a robust Coping Toolkit that helps you manage stress and enhance your mental well-being. Remember, it’s about finding what works best for you and practicing these techniques consistently. For more coping skills you can check out our book Counsellor Talk: Connecting Through Creative Counselling Techniques. There are copious resources inside.

Feel free to share your own coping strategies in the comments below. Let’s support each other in building healthier, happier lives!

Navigating Anxiety | Counsellor Talk

Published on by Counsellor TalkLeave a comment

Does your mind sometimes feel like a tangled ball of yarn, with worries and fears pulling you in every direction? You’re not alone. Anxiety is a common emotion we all experience, but when it overstays its welcome, it can disrupt our daily lives.

Understanding Anxiety

Imagine anxiety as a fire alarm in your brain. It’s there to alert you of danger, but sometimes it goes off even when there’s no real threat—like when you burn toast. When anxiety becomes frequent, intense, and prolonged, it can interfere with your daily routine and overall well-being. Recognizing this is the first step towards managing it.

Anxiety is a common emotion, but when it becomes persistent, it can interfere with daily life. Frequency, intensity, and duration matter. If you’d like to understand more go to AnxietyCanada.com

Avoidance Behavior: The Sneaky Culprit

Avoidance might seem like a quick fix, but it’s a sneaky culprit that can make anxiety worse. Ask yourself: Are you dodging certain situations because of irrational fears? If the answer is yes, it’s a sign you need to address the root of your anxiety. Talking to a doctor or a counsellor can be incredibly helpful.

Stay Connected

Humans are social creatures, and sharing our feelings can be a powerful antidote to anxiety. I walk and talk almost daily with colleagues and friends and it is amazingly helpful to deal with a range of emotions. Whether it’s chatting with friends, joining a support group, or even writing in a journal, expressing your thoughts can reduce the feelings of isolation that often accompany anxiety.

Everyone Experiences It Differently

Just because you’re feeling anxious doesn’t mean you have an anxiety disorder. It’s essential to understand that everyone experiences anxiety differently. Educate yourself about anxiety and mental health to better navigate your emotions. Check out mentalhealthliteracy.org for more fabulous resources.

Professional Treatment: Your Toolbox

When anxiety becomes too much to handle on your own, it’s time to explore professional treatment options. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and medication are two effective methods for treating chronic anxiety. Finding the right approach might take some time, but it’s worth the effort to explore different options and regain control over your life.

Anxiety doesn’t have to rule your life. By understanding it, addressing avoidance behaviors, staying connected with others, and seeking professional help when necessary, you can manage anxiety and lead a fulfilling life. Remember, you are not alone on this journey.

For more resources check this out and for tips on well-being, visit counsellortalk on Facebook and join the conversation on Instagram @counsellortalkcanada.

Enjoy every second of every day and take care of yourself!

Note: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not substitute professional medical advice.

Performance Anxiety

Published on by Counsellor TalkLeave a comment

We feel so lucky to work with talented youth, like the Young Canadians of the Calgary Stampede. Their dedication and creativity are awe-inspiring, and we’re grateful for the opportunity to share their tips and experiences with you!

Performance anxiety is a personal experience that can range from minor jitters to overwhelming nerves. Here are some ideas we believe can help:

  1. Confront Negativity: Recognize and address any negative thoughts or perceptions about performing. Accept the need for change and work on these one at a time.
  2. Cultivate Confidence: Believe in your unique gift and your purpose in performing. Slow, deep breathing, like square breathing, can help keep you centered.
  3. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Shift your inner dialogue from “I can’t” to “I can.”
  4. Stay Engaged: Focus on the music or your performance rather than potential mistakes.
  5. Embrace Excitement: A mindset of excitement can actually enhance your performance. Let those butterflies work for you!
  6. Progress Takes Time: Remember the 10,000-hour rule. It takes time to master your craft, so be patient and kind to yourself.
  7. Rest Well: Prioritize rest before and during performances. It makes a significant difference.
  8. Stay Positive: Keep a hopeful mindset.
  9. Visualize Success: See yourself as a star performing flawlessly.
  10. Be Authentic: Journal your fears and stay true to yourself.
  11. Stick to Routines: Consistency can offer comfort and help ease anxiety.
  12. Normalize Anxiety: You’re not alone. Chat with a friend to share strategies and support.
  13. Embrace Imperfection: Perfection isn’t the goal—focus on your growth and journey.
  14. Practice in Front of Trusted People: This can help you build confidence and comfort.
  15. Quiet Your Mind: Find techniques to help you stay present in the moment.
  16. Shift Your Focus: Concentrate on the impact you can make for your audience instead of focusing on your nerves.
  17. Ditch “Shoulds”: Replace pressure with calming and reassuring thoughts.
  18. Reframe Your Mindset: Swap self-doubt with confidence-boosting affirmations.
  19. Mindset Matters: Remember, performance anxiety can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Challenge the “what ifs” and focus on the positives.
  20. Let Go of the Spotlight Effect: Realize that people may not be watching you as closely as you think.
  21. Change Your “What-Ifs”: Transform negative “what-ifs” into empowering “what-ifs.”

The Young Canadians offered a treasure trove of advice, such as:

  • Always be Positive, Affirmations Help, Anxiety is Really Excitement, Ask For Help, Address what’s making you stressed, Agree with your body, Assertive mindset, Act Kind.
  • Be Prepared, Breathe, Be Brave, Be The Best Version Of Yourself.
  • Calm Your Nerves, Confidence, Concentrate, Care for Yourself.
  • Don’t be Negative, Deep Breaths, Determination, Demolish Those Negative Thoughts.
  • Express Your Emotions, Eat Healthy, Engage Your Mind.
  • Fight Your Demons, Faith, Find A Distraction, Friends are There For You, Fear is OK, Finish What You Started.
  • Give It Your All, Get a Friend, Go For It! Growth Mindset.
  • Have a Calming Ritual, Have Fun! Hug a Friend, Hydrate.
  • Ignite Your Passion, Include Each Other, I Can Control Myself, Invest in Relationships, Imagine Success, Immerse Yourself, Inspire Others.
  • Just Be “John”, Just Do Your Best.
  • Kindness To Others, Keep Dancing, Singing, Playing, Keep Relaxing, Keep Focused.
  • Live, Love, Laugh, Love yourself, Lead The Way, Leave Anxiety Behind, Left Brain Shut-off.
  • Make Sure You Have Your Shoes, Meditate.
  • Never Back Down, No Fear: “The Young Canadians Are Here!” No over-thinking!
  • Optimistic Outlook, Open Mind.
  • Push Your Limits and Patience, Picture Everyone As People You Love, Prepare To Perform, Positive Mind and Thoughts.
  • Quit Quitting, Quiet Space, Quiz Yourself on Choreo
  • Respect Yourself and Others, Relax.
  • Sing, Dance, Play Your Heart Out, Snack so you won’t be Hangry! Shake it Off!, Sleep Well.
  • Trust Yourself, Trust The Process, Take A Walk, Talk To Someone You Trust, Take a Hot Minute.
  • U-have to Calm Down, U are Special, Use Tips and Tricks, U can do it! Uplift Each Other.
  • Victory is Yours, Voice Your Emotions, Veto Bad Thoughts.
  • We Love You, Work, Walk It Out, Warm Up.
  •  X-hale, X out Your Stress, X out Negative Thoughts.
  • You Got This, You Are Good Enough, YOLO Mindset.
  • Zero Fear, Get Your ZZZs (sleep), Zen Time, Zero Regrets.

Remember, when it comes to performance anxiety, you’ve got the tools! Believe in yourself and your abilities. Reach out if it becomes too tough. The next time you perform, use the tips that work for you to transform your own anxiety into excitement changing performance anxiety into a friend rather than a foe!

Helen MacKinnon and Susan Spellman Cann

Who Doesn’t Need A Counselling Skills Toolbox?

Published on by Counsellor TalkLeave a comment

We all have our unique paths to walk, and sometimes, we could use a little help. That’s where Counsellor Talk can step in, providing the tools to navigate your emotions and experiences and help you to understand yourself better.

Being open to counselling as a way to transform your life is a good idea and we have loved helping those that have crossed our paths over the years.

Counsellor Talk Is written with counsellors in mind. However, teachers and those working with youth or adults can utilize the ideas too. Several handouts will work with people at every age level. There is no shortage of ideas to get those counselling ideas flowing to help others.

Who doesn’t need a counselling skills toolbox? A few ideas you can put in your toolbox are:

Just for Today

Start each day in a positive way. Accept yourself exactly as you are, knowing that you are enough.

When we celebrate our shared humanity and think of ways to help not only ourselves but find ways to help others and make the world a better place, we heal. All of us can do anything just for today.

Life is Better When…

We focus on gratitude rather than grievances. We treat ourselves with the same compassion and care that we give to others. So let go, embrace your flaws, and listen to the whispers of our intuition guiding you on your journey.

Challenge Yourself to…

Be more, do more, live more. Try something new, and learn to play more. Remember, by focusing on your strengths, you gain personal power. By reframing your thoughts, your worldview can change. By listening with an open mind and an open heart, you learn more.

Something You Might Need to Hear Today

You matter. You are a unique and valuable individual, worthy of love, respect, and acceptance. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, you are continuously evolving and adapting to change.

Something I Need to Understand

Feelings aren’t facts. They are neither right nor wrong; they just are. Self-awareness is the first step towards personal growth. Exploring your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can help you better understand yourself and your needs. Challenging negative thought patterns and cultivating positive affirmations can lead to a more positive outlook on life.

Remember, you are meant to be here; you have a purpose.

Well-being Tip

Treat yourself right; it’s time for a spa day so go ahead and take one. An economical version, relax in a bubble bath and let your worries unwind. Make time to have friends over for dinner. Enjoy the moments, make memories, and bring more joy into your day.

Rediscover simple pleasures and leave your phone behind. Find solace in simplicity; it’s your special place.

Final Thoughts

If you don’t like your story, rewrite a new chapter. Create the life you desire. Strive to thrive rather than just survive and shower yourself with self-love.

As Ronna Jevne says, “Hope is the small voice in our heart that says yes to life.” As your journey continues, remember, that you are not alone. Counsellor Talk, hopes you connect and collaborate with others every step of the way.

For more insights and tips, you can check out our book.

Counsellor Talk : Connecting Through Creative Counselling Techniques

Published on by Counsellor TalkLeave a comment

It has been a process, to say the least in creating this book, but we are so happy it is here. So much learning as we did not hire anyone to help us. We look forward to sharing Counsellor Talk with you and are so grateful for all the input from others.

We believe our book is real and relatable, and we hope it will be truly inspiring. We invite you to explore a multitude of ideas that we hope will get your creative juices flowing.

Get ready to embark on a journey where we will share several tips, tools, and techniques to empower you in finding your path, and discovering what works best for you and your clients.

As psychologists, we understand the power of connection. The therapeutic alliance is the foundation upon which healing is built, the glue that binds us together in our shared humanity. In “Counsellor Talk,” we’re offering you the tools to deepen those connections, breathe new life into your practice, and embark on a journey where healing isn’t just a destination. You will use many of the ideas as jumping-off points to meet the needs of your particular clientele.

So, grab your favorite mug, brew a cup of your preferred beverage, (we prefer a cup of calming tea), and settle in. Let’s explore together, heart to heart. We hope you will rediscover the magic of counselling, not as a clinical exercise, but as an art— a place where ideas flow to meet the needs of those entrusted to your care. 

Throughout “Counsellor Talk,” you’ll find practical tips, creative exercises, handouts, and ways to integrate technology into your practice. From mindfulness techniques to expressive tools via the arts, from narrative therapy to using technological tools —we’re here to help you expand your toolkit, inspire you to think outside the box and embolden you to make a real difference in the lives of those you serve.

 “Counsellor Talk” isn’t just about the nuts and bolts of counselling—it’s about the heart and soul behind the practice. It’s about rediscovering the joy in your work and rekindling the passion for helping others which is the first thing that drew you to this field.

What inspired us to write “Counsellor Talk” was you—the counsellors, the school counsellors, the therapists, and the healers who devote their lives to helping others. This book has been over 30 years in the making, but life got in the way. So here we are finally sharing some of our ideas and inspiration with you by never giving up our goal and publishing our first book. The journey continues as we go on the road to support you with in-depth workshops based on our book Counsellor Talk.

As two psychologists with over 60 years of combined counselling experience, we wish to inspire the next generation of counsellors as well as rejuvenate those seasoned professionals.

In writing this book we hope to pass on our passion and love of counselling. It has been the best part of our professional lives.

Is Anxiety The Same As An Anxiety Disorder?

Published on by Counsellor TalkLeave a comment

I hear it all too often, youth saying they have anxiety when what they really mean is that they are feeling anxious. If you listen to the news you would believe that our youth are in crisis . The data would suggest otherwise 1 in 5 Canadians will experience a mental health disorder in their lifetime . It’s true and needs to be addressed and has been for the past 20 or so years. The stats have not changed. What’s also true is that 4 out of every 5 Canadians don’t have a mental health disorder and it’s up to us to teach the difference between a disorder and everyday feelings that we all have. Some may need the assistance of a professional to understand the difference. Your School Counsellor is a good place to start. They are trained professionals who understand the difference and can assist in finding supports.

For the 1 in 5 youth that will experience a mental health disorder in their lifetime we need to assist them in getting all the supports necessary. For the youth that are experiencing distress over a multitude of concerns we must also listen and support them , teaching them how to cope with life’s challenges and concerns. Supporting youth with their feelings helps us understand what steps to take next. Their feelings are important , so we must not dismiss them.

Words do matter and helping our youth become literate when it comes to mental health can have a positive impact. If you need resources and ideas on how to make that happen check out teenmentalhealth.org. You can also find more information on anxiety here and here.

If you are wondering whether a youth truly has an anxiety disorder, some waitful watching may be in order. Don’t be quick to jump to a diagnosis ( and a reminder that you must be qualified to do so ) even then waitful watching is a good idea.

Some questions to reflect on :

Frequency : How frequent are the anxious feelings? Once or more a day , once a week , once a year?

Duration: How long do the feelings last? A few minutes, hours , weeks , months?

Intensity: Does the youth avoid situations because they are too anxious to cope? Is the anxiety taking control of them instead of them controlling it? Are they having trouble coping with everyday life because of their anxiety?

Have they seen a medical doctor to rule out any other medical concerns?

Has the anxiety come up for no apparent reason?

What triggers if any have led to the anxiety?

Is the youth experiencing stress or anxiety ? What’s the difference?

If you are a School Counsellor you most likely will informally assess and refer for an actual assessment if anxiety is of major concern.

When in any doubt consult. consult, consult!

Let’s work together to help our youth become more literate and support them navigating life. For a great read I would recommend Saving Normal: An Insider’s Revolt against Out-of-Control Psychiatric Diagnosis, DSM-5, Big Pharma, and the Medicalization of Ordinary Life  by Psychiatrist Allen Francis.

10 Tips for Reducing Anxiety

Published on by Counsellor Talk1 Comment

Copy of 10 Tips for reducing anxiety by Susan Spellman Cann

Anxiety is a topic we all want our students to have ideas and resources for.  I made an infographic for you to use and if you click on the link 10 Tips for reducing anxiety by Susan Spellman Cann . You  can open it and download for your use.

Put A Positive Spin On Your Day

Just in case you want an easier download for the link Put A Positive Spin On Your Day Click here.

Have any infographics or tips related to School Counselling please share!

Anxiety: Threat or Gift?

Published on by Counsellor TalkLeave a comment

E50C37D5-24B2-4653-9B6B-40D1F4D9434E

A guest post by : S.Helen MacKinnon

Often I am asked the question, ” Why do so many kids today suffer from anxiety ?” There is no easy answer to this question but there are many more questions that we need to ask. In particular, “What is it that appears to be causing such an increase in child and adolescent anxiety? Is it related to social media?  Are we over pathologizing what may be normal reactions to stressful situations in our environment. According to Dr Stan Kutcher, a leading psychiatrist from Dalhousie University, “anxiety is a gift we have inherited from our ancestors to protect us from threat and to kick-start ambition; to fight it we have to face it.” In order to “face it” we need to  first of all understand what is happening and then respond to it in a manner which will allow us to maximize the outcome.

In other words we can use the anxiety or stress, to benefit us in our day-to-day functioning.  If we see it as a gift, we respond from a totally different  repertoire or mindset than if we see it as a threat. A gift is something positive, something we welcome, something that may make things easier for us, or at times may challenge us and help us grow. How can we work with our kids to help them understand and see anxiety as a gift? What are some strategies that will help them develop a different mindset?  Additionally, what part does social media play and are we, as parents, educators, and counsellors, contributing to the mindset of threat or gift? In my next guest post I will explore these very questions and discuss ways to unpack the gift of anxiety.