Life is a fleeting journey, we never know what tomorrow will bring and it’s so easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget to cherish the moments that truly matter. Here are some tips to help you embrace each day with positivity and gratitude.
Start Each Day In A Positive Way
Begin your day with a positive mindset. Whether it’s a smile, a morning meditation, or simply taking a moment to appreciate the sunrise, which I do a lot of, setting a positive tone can influence your entire day.
Take time to celebrate the small achievements and happy moments throughout your day. Whether it’s enjoying a walk along the beach, witnessing waves crashing against rocks, or sitting with loved ones by the Mira River, these moments add up to a fulfilling life. I start my day most days by watching the sunrise. I go for a daily walk with my neighbours and I look for ways to make my day as positive as I can.
End Each Day With Gratitude
Reflect on your day with a sense of gratitude. Acknowledge as many good moments as possible. Learn from the challenges, we all have them. It isn’t always easy to embrace the moments, but when you do you will feel much better about yourself and life. Appreciate all the beauty around you. It’s a simple yet powerful practice that can transform your outlook on life.
Mother’s Day, for many, it’s a day filled with joy, love, and gratitude for the incredible women who have shaped our lives. But for others, it can be a day tinged with sadness, longing, or even pain. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a mother or mother-in-law like me, navigating a strained relationship, experiencing or have experiencing infertility in the past, you are not alone.
First and foremost, it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Emotions are complex and valid, and there’s no right or wrong way to navigate them, especially on a day like Mother’s Day. If you’re struggling, give yourself permission to acknowledge and honor your emotions without judgment.
If you’re grieving the loss of a mother or a child, know that it’s natural for this day to bring up feelings of sadness, nostalgia, or even anger. Take the time to remember and cherish the memories you shared, and allow yourself to grieve in whatever way feels right for you. Surround yourself with supportive loved ones who can offer comfort and understanding. Be extra kind to yourself today.
For those who have faced infertility or struggling to conceive, Mother’s Day can serve as a painful reminder of unfulfilled dreams and desires. Know that your worth as a person is not defined by your ability to have children. Your journey is valid, and there is hope and support available to you, whether it’s through therapy, support groups, or connecting with others who understand your experience.
If you’re navigating a strained relationship with your mother or your children, remember that boundaries are important for your emotional well-being. It’s okay to prioritize your own needs and set boundaries that protect your mental health, even if it means stepping back from certain traditions or interactions on Mother’s Day. Esther Perel shares her experience with a post called I miss you and I’m happy you’re gone.
Ultimately, remember that you are worthy of love and compassion, regardless of your circumstances. If Mother’s Day feels difficult for you, know that it’s okay to create your own rituals and traditions that honor your experience and provide comfort. New rituals can be soothing and helpful. Whether it’s going for a walk and noticing all the beauty around you, practicing self-care, or simply being kind to yourself, prioritize activities that nourish your soul and bring you joy and peace.
And to those who are celebrating Mother’s Day with joy and gratitude, remember to extend empathy and compassion to those who may be finding this day difficult. Reach out to loved ones who may be struggling, offer a listening ear, and hold space for their emotions without judgment.
Above all, remember that you are never alone. Lean on your support network, seek professional help if needed, and remember that it’s a day.
On this day I’m pausing to think of all those who struggle for all the possible reasons and sending you as much positive energy as I can muster up.
Life is complex for most people. If you are fortunate and grateful to reach my age you never take life or anything for granted. You live, truly live life to the best of your ability.
Seeing Change as an Adventure
When I first started having vision issues, I felt like I was stumbling through a foggy maze. It was scary, frustrating, and honestly, pretty overwhelming. I remember coming back from the ophthalmologist and thinking if I eventually need a seeing-eye dog, so be it. The reality of that is something different.
Over time, I realized that this new chapter wasn’t the end of my story—it was just a plot twist. Embracing change is what I attempt to do on a daily basis. I have keratoconus – specifically pellucid marginal degeneration. I also have herpes eye disease , and cataracts and have had posterior vitreous detachments in both eyes (very common in those of us past 60 years of age).
I wear sclerals which have been life-changing for me, glasses do not work anymore (except for readers). I will eventually need a corneal transplant, but for now, if the eye herpes stays at bay my corneas will be ok.
What Has Helped Me
I have always had an optimistic mindset, so that has helped tremendously, but connecting with others who also have the same eye condition has really helped. I belong to an online support group for keratoconus and have a good friend with the exact same eye condition. You are not alone. It seems there is a support group for almost every condition out there. Of course, having a great optometrist and an ophthalmologist helps. I am fortunate to have both of those.
Be My Eyes Be My AI
If you haven’t heard of it, the BE MY EYES app, Be My AI is a must.
As an optimist, I am hopeful that technology will help us live our best life.
Who knows what is next? We live in a different world than we did ten years ago. Hope is what keeps me going every day. If you know of any great resources that can assist people who are blind or have low vision feel free to share them.
Lean on Your People
Here’s the thing: you don’t have to go through this journey alone. Seriously, reach out to your friends, your family, and those who get you. As a psychologist, I know it is a strength to reach out. We all need support at some time in our lives.
It’s amazing how much love and support you’ll find when you let people in.
Finding Silver Linings
Okay, let’s keep it real. Losing your sight sucks. There’s no sugarcoating it. But you know what? Even in the darkest moments, there’s a flicker of light. Maybe it’s finally learning to slow down and savor life’s simple pleasures. Or discovering a newfound appreciation for the beauty of sound, touch, and smell. It’s all about finding those silver linings and holding onto them for dear life. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, but if you take each day and savour as many moments as possible, it makes life easier.
Losing your sight might feel like the end of the world for you, and no one truly understands unless they have been through it in some form or another, but trust me, you can cope and live a fulfilling life no matter what life throws at you.
I am so grateful that I wake up each day and can embrace the good around me and hope you too can connect with others that help make life better.
So as you navigate the twists and turns of life, seize as many moments as possible, love those around you, spend as much time with friends and family that lift you up as you can and never take your life or your vision for granted.
As Valentine’s Day approaches we often ramp up our intentional thoughts to gift someone we love something special. I want to point out one of my all-time favourite quotes,
The Smallest Good Deed Is Better Than The Grandest Good Intention
J Burroughs
I’ve discovered that the most memorable moments are often born from the tiniest acts of kindness and I try my hardest to do them as often as I can not just on Valentine’s Day. A simple smile or “thank you” can brighten someone’s day, and a small favor can create a ripple effect of positivity.
One instance of a small gesture that stands out for me is when a student told me I had saved her life. I did not know the student, but she said I smiled at her every day in the hallway, and if not for that she was thinking about ending her life. The gesture was small, but the impact was immeasurable and I have never forgotten the moment she shared her story with me. It made me look at myself and what I do. As a result, I try as often as I can to do one small thing that I hope makes a difference for another human being.
Waiting for the perfect moment to do some grand gesture might never arrive. So start now … start today. Tell someone the difference they make in your life. You can send them a digital reminder.
Here are a few things to keep in mind about relationships that might help you based on John Gottman’s approach:
The Magic Ratio:
Dr. Gottman talks about the importance of a 5:1 positive-to-negative interaction ratio. Are you practicing this interaction in all your relationships?
Emotional Bank Account:
Think of your connections like a bank account, says Dr. Gottman. Regular deposits of emotional support build strong foundations. When and how often are you making deposits?
Watch out for criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, warns Dr. Gottman. How are you paying attention to these in your relationships?
Turning Towards Bids:
Bids for connection are like little invitations to intimacy. Respond positively to these bids. How often are you making these bids?
The Love Map:
Dr. Gottman encourages building a detailed “love map” of your partner. Knowing your partner’s world intimately fosters a deep connection. Have you made a love map?
Repair Attempts:
In every relationship, hiccups happen. Repair attempts are the remedy. Take time to apologize, make amends, and keep the connection intact. Who do you need to make repairs with today?
Nurturing Fondness and Admiration:
Admire your partner’s or friends’ qualities; express fondness, Dr. Gottman advises. It’s like watering a plant; love in all relationships blossoms with care and attention. Who can you express fondness with today?
Dreams Within Conflict:
Even conflicts have dreams and aspirations buried within, says Dr. Gottman. Unearth those dreams together for a richer understanding.
Shared Meaning:
Relationships thrive on shared rituals and meanings. Create rituals in your life that matter to you and those you love.
Small Moments, Big Impact:
I agree with Dr. Gottman, that small moments matter the most. Cherish the everyday connections; they make a difference for you and those you care about. Check out The Small Things Often Podcast.
So go ahead not just in your love relationships, but in your day-to-day connections with people take the time to find ways to do a small good deed. You will be glad you did.
Leave an extra tip.
Tell the manager their employee is doing a great job.
Buy a lotto ticket for someone for no reason.
Send a message, postcard, or letter telling someone how much you appreciate them.
Offer to help an elderly person do something.
Spend more time with those you love.
Live More … Laugh More …Love More … Be More intentional in your small deeds starting today.
“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard but must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller
Valentine’s Day is typically associated with romance and couples. But what about those who prefer to celebrate in an unconventional way or perhaps not all? There’s no rule saying you have to stick to the norm. Here are 10 Anti-Valentine’s Day ideas for you to consider.
1. Self-Love Day
Why not celebrate the most important person in your life – you? Use this day to treat yourself. Have a spa day, go shopping, read a book, or watch your favourite movie. Give yourself the love and attention you deserve. Try leaving positive affirmations on your mirrors or on your fridge. They can be little love notes to yourself.
2. Friends’ Gathering
Who says Valentine’s Day is only for couples? Organize a get-together with your friends. Connect and put away those phones. Play games, have a movie marathon, or just chat and enjoy each other’s company. Call an old friend and reconnect. Friends just make the world a better place. Write a note, postcard, or letter to your friend telling them how they have made a difference in your life.
3. Adventure Day
Do something daring and exciting. Go hiking, go for a walk, discover new places and things, try a new sport, and remember to invite a friend. The adrenaline rush will make it a day to remember.
4. Charity Work
Spread the love by volunteering. Helping others can be a rewarding way to spend the day.
5. Learning Something New
Take a class or workshop in something you’ve always wanted to learn. It could be painting, coding, cooking, or anything that interests you.
6. Pet Love Day
If you have pets, spend time being silly with them or take them for a nice stroll. They provide unconditional love and deserve to be celebrated too.
7.Get Back toNature Day
Escape the city and spend the day in nature. Go to the mountains or for a long walk in a park or simply enjoy the tranquillity.
8. Workout Day
Hit the gym or go for a walk or run. Physical activity releases endorphins, the feel-good hormone, and will make you feel great.
9. DIY Day
Get creative and make something from scratch. It could be a piece of furniture, a painting, a card, a digital scrapbook or a home decoration.
10. Counsellor Talk
Visit a counsellor or therapist. Discuss your feelings, fears, or anything that’s on your mind. It’s a great way to take care of your mental health.
Remember, whether you’re single or in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is what you make of it. So why not make it a day that celebrates you and the things you love?
I was honoured to be asked to speak to a group of amazing women at Words of Wisdom this morning and you too can join in any Sunday. What personal wisdom if any I have is nothing new, but my experiences have helped shape me into who I am and how I became a person full of optimism and hope.
I started off my session with taking a few spins on these wheels, you may wish to take a few spins too here and here. It’s a fun way to escape the worries of the world.
Here are the slides from my presentation:
I hope you can see that around the bend . There is much to be grateful for and the best is yet to be. Had I not had a worldview that felt and believed in hope , I am not sure how my life would have turned out.
My wish for you is that you can see the best is yet to be.
Art washes from the soul the dust of everyday life
Pablo Picasso
I love painting. In the last while I have grown to love working with inks and alcohol. I love the vibrancy of the colours and the way I feel when I splash away and see what happens.
What joy it brings me to be in the state of flow on a regular basis. I wish that for you too. We could all use a little therapeutic bath right now. Try doing a little art and see what happens.
In this world we encounter a few people who change how we feel about life. Around 30 years ago you entered my life. I was not looking for a new friend, but oh how the loss would have been mine if I did not open my heart to new friendships. A lesson that has sustained me to this day.
Today is your birthday and I want to celebrate you and all that you are.
Funand spontaneous Remember the time we were Thelma and Louise (without the driving off the cliff part) ? We bought new hats, scarves and dresses took off in your moms convertible and laughed and created memories to our hearts delight.
Intelligent Remember the times we have chatted about life’s problems and concerns and while often we agree, sometimes we don’t and those can be great conversations with you.
Generous I have watched you be generous to others in so many ways you never get acknowledged for. You have given me so many beautiful and thoughtful gifts over the years. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
Accomplished I have loved celebrating and watching you do what you do best.
Courageous You have encountered many challenges in your life and have overcome them with grace and determination.
Champion You are a champion for so many and especially care about those with severe challenges.
Dependable I can count on you to be there anytime I need a friend.
Sensational The many times we spent together with our children laughing and doing silly things. Oh what fun. You are an outstanding auntie to my kids. They love you.
Effervescent I love spending time with you. It is never dull. Our trips together together to Vegas, Palm Springs and Mexico or wherever we are in the world are always full of joy. Even when we just vegetate together it is fun.
Beautiful heart and mind. You are beautiful inside and out.
You are optimistic, unwavering, determined, vibrant, accepting, kind and so much more. I cannot imagine my life without you in it. We have created so many memories that make me smile every time I think of them. We have laughed (too many times to count) and cried together. We have weathered many storms, trials and tribulations and come out on the other side knowing that we are and will always be here for each other.
I appreciate all that you are and all that you do. I value YOU. You enrich my life and make it better because you are in it. I love you my friend and look forward to all that life brings us as we journey through it.
31 years ago when I was 30, I gave birth to our first child. She was six weeks premature. I was so scared , but immediately and profoundly in love. There is no experience like it that’s for sure. No one prepares you for the overwhelming love you are about to feel. That love never goes away, but the intensity of it ebbs and flows.
Today I am so grateful for the woman she has become. The two weeks in intensive care are still vivid in my mind. The moments in between can be a blur sometimes. How does time go by so fast?
The teen years were quite the ride, but today as I look at her, I am filled with the intense love I felt for her that moment she was born. Today, she is an amazing, caring, loving, kind, intelligent young woman whom I love spending time with.
Treasure all those moments , even the teen years they go by so fast. In loving our daughter, I became a better human being one who loves her child more than mere words could ever describe. Thank you for being born and thanks to the nurses and doctors who helped her live, especially my dear friend Darlene, one of the neonatal intensive care nurses. I love you my precious daughter. With you in it I know there is hope for a better world.
Playing is what we should all do more often. It gives me great pleasure to see my daughter play scrabble with her grandmother who is medically fragile in so many ways. This is a precious time as one never knows what is around the corner.
For today, I get to enjoy seeing them interact in such a positive way creating memories that we can all look back on with much pleasure. She is extremely good with both her grandmothers. Showing love and patience and helping them out as much as possible. It gives me great hope for how she will be with me one day .
So play away , play with friends, family and those that may need it most. Just take time out to play in whatever way works for you.
Counsellor Talk : Connecting with those who want to make a difference. 