Tag: Hope

Seeing Life Differently: Never Take Life or Your Vision for Granted

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Life is complex for most people. If you are fortunate and grateful to reach my age you never take life or anything for granted. You live, truly live life to the best of your ability.

Seeing Change as an Adventure

When I first started having vision issues, I felt like I was stumbling through a foggy maze. It was scary, frustrating, and honestly, pretty overwhelming. I remember coming back from the ophthalmologist and thinking if I eventually need a seeing-eye dog, so be it. The reality of that is something different.

Over time, I realized that this new chapter wasn’t the end of my story—it was just a plot twist. Embracing change is what I attempt to do on a daily basis. I have keratoconus – specifically pellucid marginal degeneration. I also have herpes eye disease , and cataracts and have had posterior vitreous detachments in both eyes (very common in those of us past 60 years of age).

I wear sclerals which have been life-changing for me, glasses do not work anymore (except for readers). I will eventually need a corneal transplant, but for now, if the eye herpes stays at bay my corneas will be ok.

What Has Helped Me

I have always had an optimistic mindset, so that has helped tremendously, but connecting with others who also have the same eye condition has really helped. I belong to an online support group for keratoconus and have a good friend with the exact same eye condition. You are not alone. It seems there is a support group for almost every condition out there. Of course, having a great optometrist and an ophthalmologist helps. I am fortunate to have both of those.

Be My Eyes  Be My AI

If you haven’t heard of it, the BE MY EYES app, Be My AI is a must.

As an optimist, I am hopeful that technology will help us live our best life. 

Who knows what is next? We live in a different world than we did ten years ago. Hope is what keeps me going every day. If you know of any great resources that can assist people who are blind or have low vision feel free to share them.

Lean on Your People

Here’s the thing: you don’t have to go through this journey alone. Seriously, reach out to your friends, your family, and those who get you. As a psychologist, I know it is a strength to reach out. We all need support at some time in our lives.

It’s amazing how much love and support you’ll find when you let people in.

Finding Silver Linings

Okay, let’s keep it real. Losing your sight sucks. There’s no sugarcoating it. But you know what? Even in the darkest moments, there’s a flicker of light. Maybe it’s finally learning to slow down and savor life’s simple pleasures. Or discovering a newfound appreciation for the beauty of sound, touch, and smell. It’s all about finding those silver linings and holding onto them for dear life. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, but if you take each day and savour as many moments as possible, it makes life easier.

Losing your sight might feel like the end of the world for you, and no one truly understands unless they have been through it in some form or another, but trust me, you can cope and live a fulfilling life no matter what life throws at you.

I am so grateful that I wake up each day and can embrace the good around me and hope you too can connect with others that help make life better. 

So as you navigate the twists and turns of life, seize as many moments as possible, love those around you, spend as much time with friends and family that lift you up as you can and never take your life or your vision for granted.

Who Doesn’t Need A Counselling Skills Toolbox?

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We all have our unique paths to walk, and sometimes, we could use a little help. That’s where Counsellor Talk can step in, providing the tools to navigate your emotions and experiences and help you to understand yourself better.

Being open to counselling as a way to transform your life is a good idea and we have loved helping those that have crossed our paths over the years.

Counsellor Talk Is written with counsellors in mind. However, teachers and those working with youth or adults can utilize the ideas too. Several handouts will work with people at every age level. There is no shortage of ideas to get those counselling ideas flowing to help others.

Who doesn’t need a counselling skills toolbox? A few ideas you can put in your toolbox are:

Just for Today

Start each day in a positive way. Accept yourself exactly as you are, knowing that you are enough.

When we celebrate our shared humanity and think of ways to help not only ourselves but find ways to help others and make the world a better place, we heal. All of us can do anything just for today.

Life is Better When…

We focus on gratitude rather than grievances. We treat ourselves with the same compassion and care that we give to others. So let go, embrace your flaws, and listen to the whispers of our intuition guiding you on your journey.

Challenge Yourself to…

Be more, do more, live more. Try something new, and learn to play more. Remember, by focusing on your strengths, you gain personal power. By reframing your thoughts, your worldview can change. By listening with an open mind and an open heart, you learn more.

Something You Might Need to Hear Today

You matter. You are a unique and valuable individual, worthy of love, respect, and acceptance. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, you are continuously evolving and adapting to change.

Something I Need to Understand

Feelings aren’t facts. They are neither right nor wrong; they just are. Self-awareness is the first step towards personal growth. Exploring your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can help you better understand yourself and your needs. Challenging negative thought patterns and cultivating positive affirmations can lead to a more positive outlook on life.

Remember, you are meant to be here; you have a purpose.

Well-being Tip

Treat yourself right; it’s time for a spa day so go ahead and take one. An economical version, relax in a bubble bath and let your worries unwind. Make time to have friends over for dinner. Enjoy the moments, make memories, and bring more joy into your day.

Rediscover simple pleasures and leave your phone behind. Find solace in simplicity; it’s your special place.

Final Thoughts

If you don’t like your story, rewrite a new chapter. Create the life you desire. Strive to thrive rather than just survive and shower yourself with self-love.

As Ronna Jevne says, “Hope is the small voice in our heart that says yes to life.” As your journey continues, remember, that you are not alone. Counsellor Talk, hopes you connect and collaborate with others every step of the way.

For more insights and tips, you can check out our book.

Create An Intentional Ripple: The Smallest Good Deeds Matter

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As Valentine’s Day approaches we often ramp up our intentional thoughts to gift someone we love something special. I want to point out one of my all-time favourite quotes,

The Smallest Good Deed Is Better Than The Grandest Good Intention

J Burroughs

I’ve discovered that the most memorable moments are often born from the tiniest acts of kindness and I try my hardest to do them as often as I can not just on Valentine’s Day. A simple smile or “thank you” can brighten someone’s day, and a small favor can create a ripple effect of positivity.

One instance of a small gesture that stands out for me is when a student told me I had saved her life. I did not know the student, but she said I smiled at her every day in the hallway, and if not for that she was thinking about ending her life. The gesture was small, but the impact was immeasurable and I have never forgotten the moment she shared her story with me. It made me look at myself and what I do. As a result, I try as often as I can to do one small thing that I hope makes a difference for another human being.

Waiting for the perfect moment to do some grand gesture might never arrive. So start now … start today. Tell someone the difference they make in your life. You can send them a digital reminder.

Here are a few things to keep in mind about relationships that might help you based on John Gottman’s approach:

  1. The Magic Ratio:
    • Dr. Gottman talks about the importance of a 5:1 positive-to-negative interaction ratio. Are you practicing this interaction in all your relationships?
  2. Emotional Bank Account:
    • Think of your connections like a bank account, says Dr. Gottman. Regular deposits of emotional support build strong foundations. When and how often are you making deposits?
  3. The Four Horsemen:
    • Watch out for criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, warns Dr. Gottman. How are you paying attention to these in your relationships?
  1. Turning Towards Bids:
    • Bids for connection are like little invitations to intimacy. Respond positively to these bids. How often are you making these bids?
  2. The Love Map:
    • Dr. Gottman encourages building a detailed “love map” of your partner. Knowing your partner’s world intimately fosters a deep connection. Have you made a love map?
  3. Repair Attempts:
    • In every relationship, hiccups happen. Repair attempts are the remedy. Take time to apologize, make amends, and keep the connection intact. Who do you need to make repairs with today?
  4. Nurturing Fondness and Admiration:
    • Admire your partner’s or friends’ qualities; express fondness, Dr. Gottman advises. It’s like watering a plant; love in all relationships blossoms with care and attention. Who can you express fondness with today?
  5. Dreams Within Conflict:
    • Even conflicts have dreams and aspirations buried within, says Dr. Gottman. Unearth those dreams together for a richer understanding.
  6. Shared Meaning:
    • Relationships thrive on shared rituals and meanings. Create rituals in your life that matter to you and those you love.
  7. Small Moments, Big Impact:
    • I agree with Dr. Gottman, that small moments matter the most. Cherish the everyday connections; they make a difference for you and those you care about. Check out The Small Things Often Podcast.

So go ahead not just in your love relationships, but in your day-to-day connections with people take the time to find ways to do a small good deed. You will be glad you did.

  • Leave an extra tip.
  • Tell the manager their employee is doing a great job.
  • Buy a lotto ticket for someone for no reason.
  • Send a message, postcard, or letter telling someone how much you appreciate them.
  • Offer to help an elderly person do something.
  • Spend more time with those you love.

Live More … Laugh More …Love More … Be More intentional in your small deeds starting today.

The Best Yet To Be

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I was honoured to be asked to speak to a group of amazing women at Words of Wisdom this morning and you too can join in any Sunday. What personal wisdom if any I have is nothing new, but my experiences have helped shape me into who I am and how I became a person full of optimism and hope.

I started off my session with taking a few spins on these wheels, you may wish to take a few spins too here and here. It’s a fun way to escape the worries of the world.

Here are the slides from my presentation:

I hope you can see that around the bend . There is much to be grateful for and the best is yet to be. Had I not had a worldview that felt and believed in hope , I am not sure how my life would have turned out.

My wish for you is that you can see the best is yet to be.

Art is Therapeutic

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Art washes from the soul the dust of everyday life

Pablo Picasso

I love painting. In the last while I have grown to love working with inks and alcohol. I love the vibrancy of the colours and the way I feel when I splash away and see what happens.

What joy it brings me to be in the state of flow on a regular basis. I wish that for you too. We could all use a little therapeutic bath right now. Try doing a little art and see what happens.

In Love

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31 years ago when I was 30, I gave birth to our first child. She was six weeks premature. I was so scared , but immediately and profoundly in love. There is no experience like it that’s for sure. No one prepares you for the overwhelming love you are about to feel. That love never goes away, but the intensity of it ebbs and flows.

Today I am so grateful for the woman she has become. The two weeks in intensive care are still vivid in my mind. The moments in between can be a blur sometimes. How does time go by so fast?

The teen years were quite the ride, but today as I look at her, I am filled with the intense love I felt for her that moment she was born. Today, she is an amazing, caring, loving, kind, intelligent young woman whom I love spending time with.

Treasure all those moments , even the teen years they go by so fast. In loving our daughter, I became a better human being one who loves her child more than mere words could ever describe. Thank you for being born and thanks to the nurses and doctors who helped her live, especially my dear friend Darlene, one of the neonatal intensive care nurses. I love you my precious daughter. With you in it I know there is hope for a better world.

Everyone Has A Story

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@sspellmancann

Especially during this time everyone will have a story of how they got through Covid19 or what happened to them , a family member or friend.

Our role as helpers will be to listen and support, no matter the story. It won’t necessarily be easy as sometimes we may be triggered when listening to others. We are not perfect, I know I am not that’s for sure. I want to give myself an extra dose of compassion at this time as I too have had a range of emotions. Maybe you should too.

We are humans and our humanity makes us people who are often complex. Being the best person we can be is a lifetime venture, filled with many bumps along the way. Through this pandemic many will have gigantic bumps to deal with, my heart goes out to those that do.

As you and I both navigate this chapter in our lives may we do it with courage , grace , compassion and help others along the way that are struggling to the best of our ability, because everyone has a story that they may or may not be willing to share behind the smile..

HOPEFUL THOUGHTS

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You have a purpose don’t ever forget it.

What has this pandemic given you the opportunity to do ?

How can you grow today? What can you learn? What are you supposed to do today that is meaningful?

Feel all the feelings and journal away.

Compassionately listen to others.

Find ways to be in the flow.

What are the possibilities during this time?

How can you live and love fully during this time?

What can you be open to at this challenging time?

Find people places and things to appreciate even if they are online.

Tap into music, writing or art or whatever brings you true joy.

How can you contribute today?

Demonstrate your humanity.

Live love laugh …

Reach out … there is always someone who has had more difficult challenges than you or I have ever had.

Think of all the HOPEFUL things you can say and do.

How do you thank someone? … You can too …

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Thank you so much for stopping by my blog. It is hard to believe three years has passed since ETMOOC. I personally have learned so much in the last three years thanks to my ETMOOC PLN and especially Alec Couros. How do you thank someone who has made such a difference ? For us in ETMOOC it was by helping to create something that will hopefully make a difference for Alec, his family as well as future educators.

According to Harvard Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy people judge you on two criteria when they first meet you .

  1. Can I trust this person?
  2. Can I respect this person?

Alec Couros  @courosa has earned the  trust and respect of so many , but especially those of us in ETMOOC and as a result we wanted to do something special for him. Thus the Mario Couros Memorial Bursary .

Please take time to read the criteria below and if you feel like you too want to thank Alec by contributing to an award that honours him and his dad who meant the world to him, then please do so. Several of us plan to work hard this year to promote and get others to contribute to this award and we hope YOU will join us.

About the award :

The Mario Couros Memorial Bursary will help newcomers to Canada in reaching their dream of being one of tomorrow’s educators by providing financial assistance to pursue their Education Degree at the University of Regina. Mario came to Canada from Greece on December 14th 1957. He lived, worked and raised his family in Saskatchewan. He wanted to make a life and a difference for his family. Mario was a volunteer, a caring supportive father, grandfather, a loving husband and an extremely hard working man. He was a great role model for his children and others as he continued to be a lifelong learner with a fabulous work ethic until his passing. This award is dedicated in his memory.

It is also a tribute to his son Dr. Alec Couros who continues his father’ s legacy by inspiring and encouraging others to pursue their educational aspirations and follow a path to life-long learning.

The bursary will make a meaningful impact by breaking down the financial barriers to higher education and encouraging outstanding academic achievement. By contributing to this bursary you will enable Education students to focus on what matters most : their education.

The goal is to raise $ 25.000 to create an endowment that will allow for a permanent bursary at the University of Regina ‘s Faculty of Education. Your contribution to the Mario Couros Memorial Bursary will live on in perpetuity in memory and honour of Mario’s legacy. 

To donate online:

  1.                    Go to http://www.uregina.ca/giving
  2.                    Click the Donate Now button on the right side
  3.                    Click the In Honour/In Memory button

Enter your donation information and click add to gift basket.

Please ensure you enter Mario Couros under the second tab and continue to payment

If you would like any assistance with contributing please contact Erin Werner at 1-306-585-5432 or erin.werner@uregina.ca .  Those from other countries may wish to do so if they have difficulty contributing.  If you need a paper copy just email her.

You too can help !  Consider letting other educators know they can contribute to this important fund. Each contribution can and will make a difference. Alec has 99.5k followers . If each person following @courosa donated $ 1.00 we would have more than we need to keep this fund alive and help young people who want to be educators.

A very special thank you to all those in ETMOOC that have volunteered to promote this fund and all those who have already committed to contributing. I am so grateful for you . Kindness flows in ETMOOC ‘ers

I look forward to many more years of connecting , growing and learning with all of you. I think my heart is bigger today because of all of you.

Have you or someone you know been impacted by @courosa or @gcouros ?  You may want to really consider contributing. This post yesterday by @gcouros on “Has twitter changed our view?”  is very thoughtful and thought provoking. Twitter has most certainly changed mine for the positive. #lifechanging #friendshipsIneverwouldhaveimagined #grateful

REMINDER:
YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE ! Truly think about donating, even if only a small amount and pass this on to someone who you think would contribute. TOGETHER we are better!

Please consider blogging about this award and sharing on twitter , facebook and google plus . YOU too can help to make a difference. Thanking you in advance. There truly are so many good people in the world and if you have taken time to read this blog post to the end and contribute. I know you are one of them.

Please let us know you have contributed by either DM ing me at @sspellmancann or by posting in the comments section so we can acknowledge YOU!